Thursday, April 12, 2007

"Why would you do that???"

About 8 years ago, my ex suggested that I get my nipples pierced. I looked at him like he was sniffing glue or something.

"Sure, and you come with me and get your dick pierced!" I promptly said.

He scoffed.

I put the thought of my head. Every once in awhile, the thought would sneak back in. Then, it started sneaking back into my head more often - once a month or so, then once a week, and pretty soon I was thinking about it every day. I was scared shitless at the idea of having someone stick a needle through my nipples. Why would anyone do that? But I realized that I did want to.

My birthday was coming up and my ex never knew what to get me. I subtly brought up the topic (as we women are so good at!) and of course he didn't have a clue.

"Why don't you pay for me to get my nipples pierced?"

He scoffed again. This time because he didn't believe I'd do it. I convinced him to give me the money for it and he did, fully expecting me to come back and confess that I had chickened out.

But I didn't . I went to the piercing studio. I was impressed with how they managed to keep it eye appealing, yet sterile looking. The owners were a husband and wife team who worked together. She stayed in the room the entire time even though he did the piercing. He explained the process in great detail, showed me the tools, and finally, the time came. I had to take my shirt off. That part didn't phase me. I'd already had two children in a training hospital and had multiple doctors at a time hovering around my nether regions.

He took out the clamps and attached them to the first nipple. Not phased yet. It was weird and a little uncomfortable but not a big deal. Then he took the needle out of its sterilized packaging.

Oh, did I mention that I am morbidly terrified of needles? No? That was the worst part of being pregnant for me. Labor, C-section, getting naked in front of stranger - all a walk in the park in comparison to the blood tests that I had to undergo during the earlier stages of pregnancy.

And I guess that was what it really came down to. I was conquering a fear that I'd had my entire life. The needle. I watched as he slid it through my nipple. An intense burning sensation flooded my entire breast. And then the adrenaline. By the time he started on the other nipple the adrenaline had me as high as a kite. It was the best high I'd ever had and it lasted for hours.

As I walked home, my nipples throbbed with a delicious pain that showed me a hint of how much pleasure there could be in pain. Weeks later, I trembled with a sexual excitement every time my nipples hardened in cold weather. If someone brushed against me in the crowded line where I was a line cook, my knees would tremble. I finally had to confess to one cook why I got so distracted every time he brushed his back against my sensitive points. Fortunately, that didn't make him stop.

So, when people ask me, "Why would you do that?" I just smile.

"You'd have to have the experience to really understand." They don't understand. But that's OK. I know the joys of conquering a fear. And I know there can be pleasure in pain.

1 comment:

Sara Winters said...

So you have your nipples pierced? Honestly, I think you're saying things to tease me. Now, if you tell me you're a natural redhead I might actually be tempted to come up there. ;-)